A Word on Gift Giving in China

Prior to our trip, I obsessed (as many do) about what giftsI should bring to China. We were told by our adoption agency that gift giving is customary in China and that we should buy several token gifts to give to the following people:

Orphanage Director
Nannies
Foster Parents
Notary
Registrar

Gifts are expected when a service is preformed and so it is customary to give them to these people. The gifts will not be opened in front of you. They will be gathered up and given to the official. We bought several t-shirts that I wrapped in red tissue paper. I also bought several red gift bags and put candy, hand lotion and ipstick in for the aunties/foster parents. I also had put a $10 bill in the bag for the foster parents.

When the orphanage director and some aunties came to our hotel room to see if we had any questions, we used that opportunity to give them their gifts. They smiled politely and took them. The following day when we were at the registrar and notary offices, I left the gifts in the hotel room! Everything was just so confusing what with having the baby for all of 16 hours and trying to get ready by a certain time, I just completely forgot! And you know what? It didn't matter.

When we were in the registrar's office and the notary's office, we saw a pile of gifts on the floor. Even though we did not add to the pile, no one said anything to us and we were treated very well by each public official. I was bummed out because I had carted this stuff from NJ to Beijing to Nanchang China and then never gave the gifts to the intended recipients. I had bought some extra gifts too because I wasn't sure if I had enough. I certainly did not want to take the gifts home so we gave them to to hotel staff. They really did appreciate the gifts!

Please believe it when people say not to fuss over the token gifts because it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things.